Junk in the Trunk

If you were to look in the back of my car you would notice a motley collection of things: tennis rackets, Trader Joe bags, a blanket, a first aid kit, flares, a yoga mat and swim kit complete with extra goggles and swim caps.

Indeed, it would constitute what I would collectively refer to as “Junk in my trunk” (JIMT).

So, imagine my surprise when my ten year old son came home from school and referenced the term ‘junk in the trunk’ but with a rather different meaning. He was sitting in the kitchen having the requisite afternoon snack and we were having one of those special mother-son bonding moments.

Trying to stay hip and cool I asked what he meant by the phrase ‘JITT’. He explains it as follows:

“It means too much in the backside,” he says munching on a cookie.

“Backside? Too much what?” I naively ask.

Taking a gulp of milk he looks up at me with his newly minted white moustache and smiles, “You know mom, when you have a butt that shakes and is really big and jello-like.”

“Uh huh,” says I completely trying to grasp what I have just heard my innocent little guy share with me.

As a mom in the year 2008 it is important that I try and stay au courant and be aware of the influences on my young son as he maneuvers the waters of prepubescence. So, I take a deep breath and ask in as nonchalant a voice as I can, “And what other terms are the children at school fond of these days?”

I explain that when I was in school a million years ago, peace signs and flower decals and hip huggers were the rage. It was groovy to be alive and every little thing was hip or gross or way out. I explained that the really big thing was to make chain bracelets out of gum wrappers.

He looks at me with his big brown eyes and raised eyebrows.

"That was a long time ago Mom.”

“Oh I know that,” I respond.

But I can share with him how hip I am when I think about my own upbringing which would have included a rinsing of my mouth with soap for even referring to the body in such a less than decorous manner. Now here I was having a conversation and discussion of the merits of the vernacular of body parts with my ten year old.

I was beginning to feel pretty in vogue.

“I even know what a grill is,” I told my son with a hint of pride.

“What is it then Mom?” my son asks as he stuffs a cookie into his mouth.

“It’s when rappers and other cool cats place a strand of metal across their teeth for some reason beyond fathom,” I reply.

Chipmunk cheeks and all my son smiles and shares his half chewed cookie. “I am not sure we would use the word ‘cats’ Mom” my son chastises me gently.

Taking another milk swig of milk, my son then swallows and asks, “That was my grill – pretty cool huh?”

We giggle.

And for those of you who may be interested. There is a website called urban dictionary which helps take the mystery out of words such as “grill” “tight”, “ice” “bad” and of course the legendary phrase “junk in the trunk.” I have provided just one of the choice definitions to be found on this very riveting website.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=junk+in+the+trunk

junk in the trunk … used to describe a female with a disproportionately large gluteus maximus region in relation to the rest of her body. Scientists have discovered that, in this condition, any food eaten by the afflicted turns immediately to fat then migrates rapidly to the gluteus maximus. Research has found that this ailment is widespread throughout many areas of North America and is oddly prevalent in African-American females. While there is no known cure, as long as there are males of the species and alcohol remains readily available, these females are still well-received in society.