The World Keeps Getting Smaller Alice...

Recently, we as a human species passed the 7 billion mark on the number of people living on this planet called earth. That's a lot of zeros:  7,000,000,000. As I got to thinking about this number it made me realize that it seems that long since a post was last made to this website. And for my dear loyal, devoted fans who have been begging me to write, write, write (okay...imagination is a good thing...) here it is- the new and improved humor from one member of the human population of 7 billion+.

What have you been up to these days?  One might ask.  Well, despite the number of Homo Sapiens now walking this earth, it seems to me in many ways, smaller. Technology has allowed me with a click, a tap, a sneeze almost -  to turn on a light, anwer a phone or connect with a friend thousands of miles away in Paris.

Indeed just last Thursday, the phone rang in Plato's Cave (what I call my office cubicle) and as I struggled to understand how to fix an unbalanced anchor tag in my html code (I know me -a total right hemisphere gal coding- - it is bizarre- those tags are enough to drive me to the dark side - but that is a story for another day.

I picked up the phone to be greeted with, "I am walking along the Seine. It is 11:30 at night. I have just finished dinner with clients and I thought of you...knowing how much you love this city of lights- and rather than take a taxi, I opted to walk back so I could share the sites with you long distance." And thus began a five minute conversation with a dear friend who happened to be in Paris for work. I suppose I can share that he works for Bill- and is a PC-kinda guy- I am an Apple kinda gal- but we don't let our technological differences stand in the way of our friendship - no, no no....

So, you see as the planet increases the number of bipeds taking up residence, it seems to shrink in terms of how we are amazingly able to connect- even when we are physically very far apart. Now I will admit I am mostly Luddite in nature- I do not tweet, chirp or groom gardens on Facebook.  However, I do send letters - and I do use text and I do use email- I am a big believer in the electronic message these days.

So please, my loyal and devoted fans- do share how the word is smaller in your version of Alice in Wonderland- despite the growing number of people- do you feel more connected than say five years ago?  Let us take an online, very unsophisticated poll and see what we come up with...

Alice is back and she  promises to be a better and more frequent blogger with many tales to tell....

Thanks for sharing your lives with me!



copyright 2011. All rights reserved.

Goodbye Bill...Hello Steve

Dear Bill,

We have been together a long time. Close to twenty years.  We’ve weathered many ups and downs; and if there was ever anyone who could show compassion as I sat knee deep in muck in the middle of the night, it was you. 

You were always there with quiet guidance and a solution,“ Let’s try a reboot,” you’d suggest.  Or maybe after studying the problem for a bit you might say, “I think we need a  Control+alt+delete. ” Whatever the case, you were there for me. My knight in shining Armorall.

You taught me many things. And I am grateful to you Bill. I really am. I mean if it weren’t for my time with you, I would never have learned that patience isn’t a virtue.  It’s a necessity.  

When the Wreck of the PC came in the wee hours of the morning and claimed my hard drive as its own I didn’t cry. I didn’t scream and run stark mad out the door. I took the thing to the local tech hospital where I kept an around the clock vigil as the hardware doctors tried to perform a last minute intervention. One more breath from the drive. Just one file with all the data for my report. That’s all I needed.

“These things happen.” That’s what you said. Nobody is perfect. Well, that may be true. Today, I come to you with outstretched hand and a bid of adieu. We shared conversation across the campus of your beautiful building in 1995. Yes, you and I walked side-by-side and chatted about the newest baby, Windows 95. Oh, I know, I am dating myself here. It goes to show how time does indeed fly.

So I thought you should be the first to know – Rasta Woman convinced me with a single word.  I ran into her (literally) at the Farmer’s Market where she had the most perfect specimen of an eggplant in her hands.   Her skin glowed with something akin to love and she told me that she had seen the light. I should paint the scene for you- I was inspecting a quart of organic strawberries when I dropped them all over the hemp-strewn carpet of the stall.  I stepped on Rasta Woman’s foot in the process of collecting the perfectly ripe specimens. Oh and the scent – they were just exquisite.

But, I digress.  As I began to apologize, she shared with me the truth of the world as it applies to the computer. Lo and behold  she did it with a touch of a finger and the name of a fruit. Rasta Woman with the impeccable skin placed her cool hand on my cheek and whispered a single word, “Apple.” My cheek and me were flushed with embarrassment and the remainder of the peanut butter that at one time had been on the sandwich of my six year-old’s lunch.

Rasta Woman rules. She is the light at the end of the dark tunnel of lost data, slow boots and endless crashes in the middle of the most urgent project. No more. I'm sorry Bill.

The Apple of my eye is a guy named Steve. I am leaving you for a younger, brighter more virulent man. Yes, it's true .  And my how his Apple does shine. Rasta Woman was right. Apple. One word.   

Steve and I – well – I guess you could say we have entered into a mutually exclusive relationship. He is always ready for anything. He is awake, ready, willing, and able. He has none of this belching and creaking and groaning and stretching. He is ready to go. He hits the ground running- whenever I am ready- so too is he.

Goodbye Bill...Hello Steve…..

Sincerely,

A former PC Groupie – now an Apple Convert

copyright 2010. All rights reserved.